The heart never lies.

What a day. Emotions whirled up together, blended with the wrong molarity. Overload.

I am still in denial. I still do not believe that so much can change in such a short period of time. I can't believe that all i've built up can be so fragile, breaks so easily, so replacable.

And i am still the world's number one obsessive liar....ok not liar, but more like a guy who can't keep his word.

I said i won't be emo. Look at me now.

I said i'll study. No progress so far.

I said i'll make things up, apologize. But now....oh god, i can't face another day living in this situation.


I am so sick of being someone i'm not. Seriously, i hate it when i laugh so forcefully, it doesn't even sound like me. I cannot pretend to be happy when i am seriously NOT. BUT i can't be emo too, 'coz then i get fingers pointed at me.

Sooo effin tired.






however, i did manage to get a line! wow, i can't believe how happy i was then,eventhough it was short-lived happiness.


I can't describe that pain, that sourness, that tightness in my heart i experience every single night. not dramatizing here, but yea, i do get suicidal thoughts on and off. Ergh.


Dammit, i gotta stop staring at my MSN online list. It's just so hard to refrain myself from clicking that name....


Oh, i can go on and on. But what's the point?





someone bestow me the courage i need.
how do I say sorry?