Honesty is bestowed unto myself

I shall come to terms with myself....for the second time.
I shall continue where i left off.









fuck you la, you stupid bitch. This is all your fault.



dang, i've been dying to say that. Who knew a girl, a mere 17 year old girl could minimize and cut me down into something so puny and pathetic?

i hope someday, i'll be able to look back and say: what a jerk i was.

But, alas, no.

I don't think i'm feeling sorry for myself or whatsoever, 'coz i pretty sure i got my feelings for her worked out, and the verdict is: it's quite serious. I feel that this ain't your typical teenage crush, it's something more.

But(there's always a but),she doesn't have the faintest notion of what's going on in my head. or for that matter, my heart.

I guess what i want now is, at least, some positive response from her. She's been treating me pretty coldly these few months, i don't know what triggered the change, but i ain't liking it one bit. What did i do? What did she do?

Now, i can't even look at her. If i do, by chance, i feel myself falling apart, breaking down in the inside. Oh, the dreaded mood swings. How am i gonna face her when.......sigh.

I need a friend.seriously, for once, a real friend.
A friend who really listens to my problems,
and not just wanting to get something 'juicy' from me.
A friend who actually sympathises my plight,
and not just scorn at me and label me emo.

Sadly, i see no such person.
i think i got a lot of friends, but i don't hear from them.
i don't even have best friend to begin with. Truly, this is SHIT? Please, God, send someone my way who i can cry out my woes to him/her. I really need help.






Note to self:
Don't waste your whole time trying to get something which is taking away.