Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Chinese For DUMMIES

Ok, admit it, we all have trouble mastering this ageless language. Some of us struggle just to obtain a pass grade for our Chinese language paper.
Fret no more, here are some 'useful' lil things that'll help you ace your chinese AND english paper.

It all started with my MSN display name: playing the piano to an ox

A lot of people were baffled by this seemingly easy sentence, but only Nyit Yang had the brains to decipher it's hidden meaning.

People, it actually translates to a chinese chen yu: Dui Niu Tan Qing
It simply means, you're being ignored (i think so la, my chinese oso sucky)

And so began the conquest to decipher more and more chen yu as to aid 'Banana's' in their constant war with the Chinese Paper.

People Mountain People Sea- Ren Shan Ren Hai
No Shame Ask Down There- Bu Zi Xia Wen
Walking Horse Gawks at Flowers- Zhou Ma Kan Hua
Heart Blood Coming in Currents- Xin Xue Lai Chao
Ox Head Can't Fucking Fit into A Horse's Mouth- Niu Tou Bu Tui Ma Zui
Wind And Sun Very Pretty- Feng He Ri Li
Not Three,Not Four- Bu Shan Bu Si

With the understanding of the above chen yu, we can effortlessly create a simple english paragraph, thus:

Today Wind And Sun Very Pretty so i went to the park Walking Horse Gawks at Flowers. But the scorching heat finally got me. I Heart Blood Coming In Current go to Chow Kit Road to seek 'pleasure'. Alas! the whole street was People Mountain People Sea. After much struggle and waiting, i reached the front desk and requested a empty room with a 'chicken'. But sadly, the desk lady was an imigrant and started talking gibberish. I felt this lady was Ox Head Can't Fucking Fit into A Horse's Mouth still i prevailed and No Shame Ask Down There loudly for a hooker worthy of satisfying me. Then this Ah ma heard my yells and hobbled over. Without so much of a greeting, she screeched to me in hokkien:" You ar...look so handsome but is actually a Not Three,Not Four man!'





Haiz...some of you might not understand me. So i believe all my efforts are just like Playing the Piano to an Ox.



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