Saturday, June 30, 2007
Ghosts of the Past
It's kinda weird you know. I would have not thought about her so much if Elle and I weren't talking about our non-existent love life. Lol.
weeelllllll.........
It all began in Standard 4, when i was still a fat(nearing obese) obnoxious brat in primary.
ok.....you didn't believe that, did you?
anyways, i guess i'm so lucky to know her that year, she was sitting next to me. To protect her identity, i'll just give initials.
her name is KSF. I have to say, she looked divine. Even for a 10 year old, she was already VERY cute and pretty. I wouldn't talk about her physique, cause i was still a very innocent and pure guy then, never bothered to check out girl's assets or jugs. hehe
well.....i don't know how to put this together. We just....sorta clicked you know? as friends la...and we were sorta close i guess. We used to play silly and childish games, and talked heart-talk sometimes......
I guess that's when i started to develop feelings for her.
Thinking back, i thought it was just typical puppy crush you know? But do so-called puppy crush last for 7 years? i think not.
Then we got seperated to different classes. I was in 5L and she was in 5J, 2 classes between us. but heck, we still found other ways of communication. We passed notes or letters to each other almost everyday. And we continued to talk silly things.....we teased each other everytime we get the chance.
I enjoyed every sweet moment of that.
Then enter primary 6, our last year. please, don't think i'm perasan or anything, but i've slimmed down A LOT. Puberty mar...i had an early one, so all my baby fats just burned off. But still, i had low self-esteem that time. I didn't dare to confess to her, i mean, what if it ruins our friendship? But.....i kept thinking about her all the time. I never thought i could be this crazy about a girl!
oh and let me add something. Primary 6, she's prettier and cuter than before.
Oh heck, we knew passing letters to each other was kinda impossible, cause some people found out and began teasing about us. So, we began to use Alexander G.Bell's noble invention. We could talk for HOURS on the phone. My god, we had to switch ears between intervals. HAHA
Then, we had our graduation school trip to Penang-Langkawi. I thought maybe i could use this chance to confess or maybe just get a lil closer to her? No chance, she sticked to her friends throughout the trip while i sticked to mine(Sonia, elyse and Lynn would remember eh?)
haha....talk about cuteness shit, during the trip, i got her a type of necklace which has a grain of rice in it, with her name and the words "Happy Forever" etched on it. I was like, how the fuck am i suppose to give this to her. And my oh-so thoughtfull friends, Sonia and Elyse, took matters into their own hands........
Shit.
I was on the bus, sitting there listening to Elyse's I-Pod and waiting for the bus to bertolak. Then suddenly KSF appeared, apparently dragged onto the bus by sonia and elyse. And they kept saying: 'Lichung got something give you!" and she was like ????????
O jeez, i was so embarressed , I couldn't look her into the eyes. Man, I was actually SWEATING! then with trembling hands, i handed her the necklace. She looked at it, embaressed too, and muttered a 'thank you' and dashed off the bus. Heck, i didn't know whether to be sad or happy.
So when we came back from the trip, she handed me this envelope. My heart was doing a drum solo when i got that tiny pink envelope. I ran to a corner to open it.
Here were the contents, translated to English from Chinese:
I like you very much Lichung, but i'm sorry, this is as far as we can go.
Then, inside the envelope was the necklace................................
So there you have it, my first rejection. And after that, we lost touch, didn't even dare to look each other in the face. And during graduation, i didn't really even said a proper good-bye to her. No handshake or hug.
"Hey,'im going home now, Bye."
"Oh, ok. Bye-Bye."
And that was it.... She went to Chung Hwa High while i landed my butt in CHS.
After all these years, even when i was with Careen, I still miss her. I really,really do. 7 years and i still can't let her go.
I lost touch with her. I just want to know how she's doing after all these years. I'm not expecting ANYTHING from her and i'm not here to 'kau' her. I just wanna know how she's doing....out of old time sakes. I miss her a lot lately.
i guess this ain't a puppy crush then? I don't know, but i would really love to talk to her again. Childhood friends? yea, i guess that's it.
SIGH! but i guess i have to move on. She'll still remain in my heart in a tiny corner. I know it's silly to think about her, but then, i think i really found what i want. And i'm waiting for another HER! hehe........so........
I Miss You KSF, I really hope we can get in touch.....for old times sake.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Silent Whispers
A very Happy Birthday to my oldest buddy , Ong Khai Shen. I've known him like since standard 1. We've been buddies for.....(calculating) 10 FRIGGIN YEARS! dude, happy sweet 16, sorry couldn't celebrate with you. Transformer is out. Maybe i'll get you a Decepticon robot model.
ah well.....i don't know, but i've been getting mixed messages. She's just confusing me. I've given her time, but she's playing with it. What to do? Siiiiighhh
Exam grades are all time low. Schmuck.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
The Good and the Bad News
Good News: I passed my Add Maths. 43.
More Bad News: I did quite bad for my Chemistry. Kinda disappointed. Study like crap but just scored a measly 32 out of 80 .
More Good News: I got 63 for sejarah, but the marks ain't final coz abdul manab mark wrong some questions.
MORE more bad news: In total, i already failed 2 subjects and i haven't told my dad any of the results......yet. When he hears my physics and add maths, he's gonna be in a war path. Yikes.
MORE more Good News: well.....good news is there ain't any more bad news.
Stay tuned for more uninteresting, emo-type, lame and dumb shit about Victor. This is Channel Victor-is-so-screwed and have a wonderful evening.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Feather-Weight Wallet
seriously, that show sucked. Big Time. The jokes were lame, the storyline ain't good and it was just meant for kids. Sheesh.
Ah well, left the gang around 4 30 to go home and play basketball. Then i bumped into sonia, i-ting, elyse, franssie and hui yi. Guess they were doing some girly shopping.
I'm actually obsessed in losing weight now. I eat less and exersice more these days. Hey, don't gimme that skeptical look. I'm trying ok? jeez....
Saturday, June 23, 2007
My Plug In Baby
Nice Contrast eh?
Before
NOW
It is a 20-inch BENQ LCD moniter. Alright man!
Before i forget, Birthday shoutout to I-Ting! HAPPY SWEET 16 girl! Sorry i didn't get you anything or celebrate shit with you, but hey! it's the thought that counts.....hehe
I'll definitely record a jamming session and send it to you.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Dum Tak D-Dum D-Dum Tak!
Sigh, dear sonia wanted go watch movie at night one.....and the suprising thing is my mom actually allowed me to go this time???? But then in the end couldn't la, sonia had dinner or sumthin lidat. And EVERYONE is going to the Cheer 2007 thingy, so no one will be able to teman me this weekend......
WEI! SOMEONE TEMAN ME WATCH MOVIE OR JUST LEPAK LA! I DAM SIEN!!!
Oh yeah, speaking bout movies, Shrek 3 was ok la....lamefully funny, but not much storyline. Just pure lame and funny. So don't waste your money on it. Watch Blades of Glory better.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
The Dawn of Despair
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Blue is nothing compared to what i'm feeling now
Sigh, Modern Maths-58. I did worse compared to the first term. I'm so screwed. If i tell my dad, i can kiss goodbye to my flat-screen desktop moniter.......sigh
And the grades of other people are scaring me. 4s2, half the class failed bio, according to my friend. And 4S7, only 7 ppl passed add maths. Get it? 4S7, 7 people pass, ironic huh?
wait wait. Does that mean only one will pass add maths in MY class?
Oh shit.
I can't stop sighing. Nothing seems to go my way. Today is suppose to be a very special day, and i swore to myself that i had something i need to do. But i blew it. Big Time.
I'm sorry. Two inadequate words as i'll spend the rest of my life saying this to you. But nevertheless, I'm sorry.
Like my friend Yee Aun said to me today: Have you ever missed someone's pressence before?
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Freedom has a new definition
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Happy Father's Day
To my old man,
i'm still waiting for my flat screen desktop moniter and MacBook Pro.
Cheers
Saturday, June 16, 2007
I am Fat
WTFKNNCCB? what am i saying???
anyways, we had our BM2 and Chem 3 paper. Chem 3........i HOPE i didn't screw it up. 40 marks leh people. My chem paper depends on this cause i know i totally screwed up my paper 1 and 2.
BM was actually QUITE ok......except for the Novel part. The sinopsis? Gee, i haven't really even READ the goddam novel yet. I only know that it's about this demented guy called Othman who is absolutely desperate to show that he can be a corrupted cop during the communist era.
Yeap, that's all i know.
Then there was this Sajak about Adam.(the guy who runs butt naked and eats apples) My god, what is the world going to? We're actually learning the friggin Bible in Malay?
Lord save us, well, at least Adam.
This is the original text:
Adam ialah bapa kita
yang tercampak dari seberang dunia
kerana mencari syurga
di celah buah khuldi
Waktu terlantar di dunia baru
hari tengah malam
ia tidak mengerti apa yang terjadi
mulutnya bisu
Ia melihat sekeliling
mulai merasa cemas akan kegelapan
segumpal awan hinggap ke kening
ia tidak tahu apakah itu
Sepanjang malam ia tercenggang
dari hatinya mengalir sungai duka
begaimana akan kutempuh rimba kegelapan
tubuh seorang
Sepanjang malam air matanya
membelah muka bulan
And as usual, i have too much time at my hands. So since the Adam and Eve story is originally in english , i decided to take the initiatif to translate it back.
Adam is our father
who was flung by God from the other side of the world
because Adam was finding heaven
in the bushes of buah khuldi(WTF?)
When he landed spread-eagle on the new world
it was the middle of the night
He does not know what happened
so he STFU
He looks around
and begans to be hysteric of the darkness
then a cloud reaches his brow
he's a retard, does not know what it is and said WTF?
The whole night he stones
his heart flows out a river of sadness
How will he survive the jungle of darkness
with only his own body, what a wuss
The whole night his tears
slice the moon's face in half.
Cheers.
HAHA, so after yesterday's exam, i thought since tuesday only Bio and Phys paper 3, sat and sun only study la! Enjoy a bit dulu. So went yamcha with sonia and astin at Kayu. Just makan and talk crap only la. Sonia thinks she's fat, when she's actually getting kinda bony now? Sonia baby, you need some oil and sugar in your body. The Roti Tissue helps.
And of course, trying to be the gentleman, i paid for our supper.
RM20.52. Ouch
Thursday, June 14, 2007
In Between
O yea, and there was this question in the Literiture section.
Question: Why do the snails have 'timid horns'? (according to the text)
My Answer: Because they have.
Zha gau my teacher man......
I really like this song from Linkin Park. It's from their new album, Minutes to Midnight. I have to admit, i actually LOVE the whole album. Yowza
In Between
Let me apologize to begin with
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say
But trying to be genuine was harder than it seemed
And somehow I got caught up in between
Let me apologize to begin with
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say
But trying to be someone else was harder than it seemed
And somehow I got caught up in between
[Chorus]
Between my pride and my promise
Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way
And things I want to say to you get lost before they come
The only thing that's worse than one is none
[End Chorus]
Let me apologize to begin with
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say
But trying to regain your trust was harder than it seemed
And somehow I got caught up in between
[Chorus]
Between my pride and my promise
Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way
The things I want to say to you get lost before they come
The only thing that's worse than one is none
The only thing that's worse than one is none
[End Chorus]
And I cannot explain to you
And anything I say or do or plan
Fear is not afraid of you
But guilt's a language you can understand
I cannot explain to you
And anything I say or do
I hope the actions speak the words they can
[Chorus]
For my pride and my promise
For my lies and how the truth gets in the way
The things I want to say to you get lost before they come
The only thing that's worse than one is
Pride and my promise
Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way
The things I want to say to you get lost before they come
The only thing that's worse than one is none
The only thing that's worse than one is none
The only thing that's worse than one is none
[End Chorus]
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Half Way thru and i'm already a Shinigami
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Last Day Ends With Aching Feet
.....until i found out they were actually just going to play FUTSAL.
......screw.
So anyways, went to school at around 9.30 am. Had to lie a bit to my dad saying that someone from the Rotarian Club will fetch us (as IF!) to the Sports Plaze(the venue). haha, and Tian Yuan arrived in street clothes instead of sports attire. HAHA. So in the end,we hitched a ride on Jonathan's car. Man, was his mom friendly. I didn't realize it was actaully SO CLOSE to our friggin school. But hey, when they say it's near F&N Factory, how would i know where?
So when we reached there, i could see familiar faces of interactors from other schools i met at the ICC charity concert. Of course, the majority of people signing up to play today were Indians. Man, all of them looked so pro. Compared to us? sheesh, with the exception of Nyit Yang, Brian Loh, his brother and jonathan, our team looked like ......like......like very lousy la!
So we played la. We weren't the only team representing CHS(thank god). No prizes of guessing who's the GoalKeeper. Sigh. Seriously, those people just blast the ball STRAGIHT at your face. I wonder how those international goalie's get the ball. First match, we lost 2-0. Nevermind, cause i thought that nyit yang and brian loh haven't warmed up yet.
Second match, we lost 6-0.......thanks to my fantastic goal keeping skills.
I tell you people, by the second match, WE were ALL HUNGRY! goddammit MCB KNN! how can they not sell food there? sell those carbonated drinks only. And the place we were don't have any mamak's nearby. But of course, thanks to my insistent praying to our Big Brother up there, He delivered food to us........namely Buns.
And FUCK, they were so small, it couldn't even satisfy brian loh. And MCB! they were selling it at a killers price. Rm1 for a puny little lump of flour? Go die la you.
So after curing my hunger. ( with 3 buns and 2 mineral water) we played our 3rd match. By that time, most people sudah balik rumah. And even if we won this match, we wouldn't qualify for the next round. So play only la............
Final score: 2-2. And brian cheah was the goalie. I was the defender.................
This proves that basketballers can NEVER be footballers.
well.......in my case only la.
Friday, June 8, 2007
Contentment
Good to know that you've got pals(and gals) to comfort you when you're down. To forgive you(eventhough sometimes it takes a long time) when you've done wrong. To try and understand you. I'm just........very happy.
I really can't say who's my best friend. Well, because i do treat everyone as my besties. And i would also like to say Sorry to all those i have offended or annoyed the hell out of them. I just can't help it, but if you know me, i just can't help talking, singing(god forbid) and making a fool of myself. There is one simple(and stupid) reason why i do all those things. I just want to see my friends laugh. Cause when you laugh, i laugh with you, and that's a really great feeling.
To My band members,
thanks for being so understanding. In retrospect, i've done some wrongs too. I hope we can always play beautiful music together from now on. Cheers guys.
To Sonia,
jeez, life wouldn't be the same without you huh? My advisor to fashion and music. Lol...
To Elle,
Adoi , my OTHER fashion advisor. I just can't help laughing at your funny and clumsy antics. Whhops!
To Kok Hon,
dude..........................i really wonder why you never get angry when i whack you, make fun of you...or just plain bully you. Maybe that's why i like hanging around with you. Keep rocking on your guitar man!
To Tuan Hann, Chun Kit, Brian , Keenen, Joey, Ian and so many other guyz who make up my life,
YOU GUYZ ARE JUST PLAIN DUMB, LAME,STUPID, AND FUNNY! that's why i have to work harder to be the DUMBEST,LAMEST, MOST STUPID, AND FUNNIEST GUY!
To Vivian And Juliana,
sigh, what would i do without you two girls? keke......
To The Car Gang.....
....which consists of me, jie yi, ee lynn and the 2 new members yee aun and corey. sheesh, i wonder why we got so many crap to crap about. Lol...love you people.
Sigh, now i realize that i have A Lot of friends. I can't really write down all of them. So don't get offended if i left you out. I'm just getting lazy to type it all out.
To all MY FRIENDS,
Thank you so much. For everything.
P/S: WAIT! this is not an attempt to copy shue ze's post on friends. Just a follow up to my previous post.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
The Legacy of Conflict a.k.a S***
hey hey hey, stop giving me that skeptical look, this is definitely NOT an emo post. Just wanna write out my thoughts. So please , no more You-Are-Emo-Comments. Thank You.
Anyways, as i was saying before YOU interupted me, life is a bucket of shit. No matter how deep you dig, you still get shit. Seriously. You don't believe me? Lemme explain to you.
I'll start with my studies then. Now, as you all know i ain't smart and hell no am i hardworking. I'm just barely average and till today, i still don't get it how i ended up in 4S1...holidays are not only a bore, but are beginning to be a pain. I hate Physics................
And then there is my social life. As i stress again, my ring of friends are gettin smaller and smaller and smaller....i admit i've changed, but so have you. I'm not sure whether i have any real friends anymore. Perhaps i should become a recluse?
and i have to worry about her. I can't believe she did something that stupid. And worst is, she's now staying with HIM? OMFG? what do you expect ME to EXPECT? definitely not something good. OK, so maybe i'm over-reacting, but then i still can't accept the fact their living under one roof.....(i hope not one room....)
Ahhh.....remember my previous post? My New Addiction? Well, my band. Not MY band, but the band i'm in. Conflicts and arguments. Sigh, i have to be brutally honest here. I just think we are seriously MISMATCHED! our music taste is so way different from each other. OK, i do compromise. When the band wants to play the songs i don't even like, i just pretend like: EY! cool song man....then go yaller during practise. But when i want my songs, they straight away go like: NO way man, sounds gay. And that's it. They tell me to compromise, but do they? I just wanna try 2 songs from FOB, and they won't even hear about it. They're so into bands like Metalicca, Deep Purple and Contraband. WTF?
i seriously hate these bands................................
ah well......i rest my case.
Life is a bucket of Shit.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Don't
Or maybe you think i'm not worthy of the knowlegde to know you're safe, cause you're with him aren't you? If that's the way you want it, fine, i won't care anymore.
What's the point of me making pointless calls to friends to get news of your whereabouts? You obviously don't give a **** about the people who care for you.
You're selfish, that's what you are.
My New Addiction
It's JAMMING! MUSIC!! ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this was taken by my dad during our school's 50th anniversary. Our first performance. *nostalgic*
we were playing 'Wake me up when September Ends'
Saturday, June 2, 2007
SNAP out !
I'll just wait patiently, if she won't accept me, i'll just wait.
Whether you like it or not. BLuek!!!!
So guyz , i need your help, HELP me think up of a new name for my band. Mis-Match sounds a bit...i deno.....i don't like it so does my other band members. Any suggestions please leave at the Cbox there>>>>
My ideas for names:
The Quiver
Pyro
Lala Guyz
Shrimps
any ideas????
Friday, June 1, 2007
WE WANNA ROCK DOWN THE ROOF!
Drums: Wen Xiang
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Nyit Yang Brian