So it turns back to me and gnaws my big flabby ass.

I really don't know whether i should cry or laugh out loud.

I'll settle for both.

These 5 months....approx 150 days, was a living nightmare. A dark void i moulded myself and so blindly drowned in it. I was...well, stupid i guess. No, more than stupid. heh.

Elle was right. Gabby was right. I was wrong, all along, as usual. Why does it take only a few seconds to fall asleep but an eternity to wake up?

No, it's not that i can't, it's not that i won't, but i really can't walk up and say sorry, even if you shower me with all your forgiveness. I hate myself for this. Perhaps i'm wallowing in self-pity, i don't know, but i can't face any of you, after all this. Yea, you could say i'm ashamed of myself.

Yes, coward i am. They say running away is just delaying the problem. Nope, to me, running away is an option. A dumb one, but still a valid option.

Sigh.

True, i probably should've just sucked it up like a man, but i'm a boy. heh.

Still, it was a great pleasure knowing you. It really was. sorry for all the shit you had to take from me. Sorry for all the wrongs i've done. And sorry for not saying sorry earlier than i should have.

I was never to begin with, a good friend. Everyone would do so much better without me.

Tomorrow is graduation. So we can all stop being kids and start acting like the adults we should be. So ends the chapter of childhood. Yeah, memories and regrets, i have tons of them, but as Cheryl said: those are the itsy-bitsy pieces that makes up our high school life.

With that, i end this post with...

1 more day left to suffer, 1 more day left to make things right.