Heavy lids and a sinking heart

that's been 2 sleepless nights.
You keep invading my dreams.
Are you happy now?

No, wait.
you don't even know.
teehee.
and i tend to keep it that way.
as long as possible.

i wonder why.
no,seriously, i do.
but the more i dwell on it,
the more questions i come up with.

i try to look at you
with friendly eyes.
but then,
i can't.
because i'm afraid
my gaze will betray me.

What i feel for you,
is different.
I kid you not.
i'm not saying this,
because i want to show
you vary from the rest.
But i'm saying this,
because that's what my heart is telling me.

Should i laugh?
Should i cry?
I love your pressence
but at the same time
i dread being near you.
Oh the pain of choices!
Wretched fool, shatter that glass!

I think i shall just
keep this charade going.
For i know, deep down,
you're just a phantom dream.





always.